‘There comes a point where you have to stop thinking: stop thinking and start acting.’

‘Start acting how? What do you want to do?’

‘I want to write. I want to be a writer: I want to write a book.’

‘Woah, that’s really cool! What would it be about?’

‘It would be an autobiography.’

‘Oh—’

‘What’s wrong with that?’

‘No, no, sorry. That’s still cool. I just assumed when you said “write a book” that you meant fiction. Sorry, I just assumed that and was surprised is all.’

‘Oh, no, that’s fine.’ I smiled. ‘I mean, it wouldn’t be my autobiography.’

‘Uh,’ he looked at me confused. ‘Then that’s just a biography, isn’t it?’

‘No, no—alright, this is my fault. I explained it completely wrong. It would still be fiction, except I would just be assuming the role of the main character, and writing about the events of my life.’

‘Isn’t that just any story though, written from the first person perspective?’

‘Well, in my case I mean that the narrator would be writing it like an autobiography. Like, that’s what he would be doing canonically, in the story.’

‘Ahh, I see. Why that way in particular?’

‘I dunno, just an idea I guess? I just need to do something. Sitting around and doing nothing is so soul draining—and I’ve gotten so damn good at sitting around and doing nothing.’

‘So it’s not like you want to write this story necessarily then, you just want to write something, basically anything at all?’

‘Basically, yeah. Well, the idea for the story has been kind of sitting in the back of my mind for some time anyway, and I’ve always kind of considered putting it to paper.’

‘That’s so cool! I’m totally behind this idea.’ He smiled a pure, warm smile.

‘Yeah, but how do I even start? I mean, I’m not really a writer…’

‘Well, I’m no expert, but I think just start writing whatever comes to mind, and go with the flow.’

‘I mean, okay… I have tried to write, but I suppose the problem is mostly that it’s horrible.’

‘Maybe you’re just being too critical of yourself. Can I read what you’ve written so far?’

‘No! Absolutely not! I mean, if I had it anyway. I’ve burned everything I’ve written so far.’

‘Well how do you expect to make progress if you throw away your effort?’

‘I just can’t stand to look at it, it’s all so horrible…’

‘You’ll never learn from your mistakes  if you burn them. Plus, like I said, maybe it’s not actually as bad as you think. Maybe if you get another pair of eyes on it, you’ll be able to see things from another point of view and that added clarity will help you improve your writing from a more objective point of view.’

I shrugged. ‘I dunno…’

‘Well here’s what I say: let’s try it. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn’t, but either way we’ll know more than we do now.’

I couldn’t argue with the idea.

‘I really want you to write this book. It seems like an amazing idea and I’d love to see your face on the back.’

‘Well, I’m not sure I’d put my face on the back…’ I chuckled.

‘Of course you would! The readers need to recognise my brilliant friend when he writes his book.’

I blushed. ‘I mean, I could put my face on it I guess…’

‘You will! But first, the story. Okay, start spitting those ideas.’ ‘Well, I was thinking—okay, so you have this guy: basically, he washes his face with shampoo instead of face wash…’

21.XII.22