“Please, come in.”

I walked into the therapy room. Four walls, two armchairs facing one another. There were other things too, but I care not mention, or notice, them.

“Take a seat right there.”

I sat in the one indicated. It looked to be the more comfortable.

“So, what would you like to talk about today?”

I let the words slip out my mouth.

Why did she leave?

“Why did who leave?”

My friend.

“How did she leave?”

She stopped talking.

“And when did she leave?”

I don’t remember.

“Why do you think she left?”

She left because it was me.

“It was you?”

She left because I left first.

“And why did you leave first?”

I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t notice I left.

“Then why are you confused?”

Because I wanted her to stay. I felt like maybe we were friends. I feel like she is not only herself, but everyone else. She is everyone else, and I am me. And everyone else leaves.

And I don’t want to fade away.

I don’t want to fade away.

I want to make them want to stay.

16.VII.23